Lost Abroad
by CrazyGirl00
Summary: Imagine what would happen if our favourite Losties ended up going abroad? Each chapter will be a new destination. This is my first Lost story so please be kind!
1. Chapter 1

**Lost Abroad**

**Desmond:** YAY, YAY, YAY, YAY, YAY, AND ANOTHER YAAAAAY!

**Charlie: **Desmond, please shut the hell up you've been saying that for an hour.

**Desmond:**_** (Quietly) **_Yaaaay…

_**(Jack gets over exited and then passes out)**_

**Sawyer: **Has anyone got a pen? I wanna doodle on his face.

**Hurley: **hehe doodle (sniggers)

**Selena: **Hello there, I'm a tour guide I'll be showing you around and making sure you don't do anything stupid I've been watching ever since that err… fuzz ball started shouting YAAY over and over. We've had a few complaints

**Sawyer: **Oh yeah how many?

**Selena: **_**(takes the clip off the clipboard and dozens and dozens fall to the ground, all titled complaints) **_

**Shannon:** That's a lot of paper.

**Smoke monster:** Really! Really! You don't say! GOD I CANT BELIEVE I GET STUCK WITH THESE LOSERS!

**Charlie:** oh shut up, it's only because you're in the suitcase.

**Smoke Monster:** Yes but why? Why not Goodwin or Frogurt?

**Charlie: **Well a murderous piece of smoke floating about isn't exactly going to be a welcoming sight! Plus Goodwin and Frogurt still think we're playing hide and seek.

**Smoke Monster:** we've been gone about half a day!

**Announcer:** flight 467 to Florida is now departing. Please report to departure lounges 5 and 6.

**Sawyer:** OK, sky voice we will do those things you just told us to do.

**Charlie:** report to _what_

**Sawyer: **Shhh I will serve you, oh mighty sky voice.

**Selena:** Come on then departure lounges 5 or 6. Let's go for 6.

**Charlie:** why 6? what's so special about it?

**Selena: **because hopefully it's the empty one

**Smoke Monster: **hurtful

_**(Jack at this moment in time is struggling to get off the floor, and every time he sits up, Charlie pushes him back down.)**_

**Jack: **_**(singing)**_Show me the way to go home, everybody! I'm tired and I want to go to bed, just the women!

_**(Meanwhile in the departure lounge…)**_

**Shannon:** oh my god, I can't believe we're going to Florida! I can't wait to see all the landmarks, talk about historical events and characters for my educational benefit.

(_**Jack gets up hears this from Shannon and faints…again)**_

**Sawyer: **do you know what, the sky voice isn't giving me anything evil or good to do so I'm normal again, 'SUP freckles?

**Kate:** typical you were just afraid of an announcer speaker, and you're still acting like a player, ugh men.

**Ana: **More like ugh sawyer!

**Kate:** You go girl!

_**(Ana and Kate go for a high five but miss. Kate hits Ana in the face, so Ana pounces on Kate and they turn into a ball of smoke as they wrestle)**_

**Jack:** Charlie?

**Charlie**: ooh look a tree…

**Jack:** oooh where?

**Kate: **Jack it's nowhere, we're in a…

**Charlie:** shhhhh Kate, Kate, let him dream.

**Claire: **hey Charlie.

**Charlie: **oh hey Claire.

**Smoke Monster: **Charlie, it feels really tight in here are these your things?

**Charlie: **yeah

**Smoke Monster: **isn't that Locke's "personal space" as he calls it?

**Charlie:** yeah so?

**Smoke Monster: **OH LOCKE!

**Locke: **yeah? Wait, who said that, OH NO, I'VE GONE INSANE! AHHHH!

**Smoke Monster: **No Locke it's OK. It's just the smoke monster who kills people and makes them go missing.

**Locke: **Oh then that's OK. So what did you want?

**Smoke Monster: **check the suitcase.

_**(Locke opens the suitcase and then his face turns to horror and he starts to inflate with anger.)**_

**Locke: **Charlie! I can't believe you filled my personal space

**Claire: **Err Charlie?

**Charlie: (to Locke) **this is not the time,** (to Claire) **that is NOT what it sounds!

**Claire: **goodbye now

**Hurly:** oh s*** I forgot to get tickets!

_**(goes to ticket stall)**_

**Stall manager:** sorry sir you need two seats, because you're so fat!

_**(Hurley runs back and the group got bored and decided to get on the plane)**_

**Hurley: **WAIIITTT!

_**(He runs five steps then pants out of breath and passes out, as Claire comes back and tries to drag him on the plane. Sawyer Ana, Kate, Jack Charlie and Ben try to help, and in the end 3 security guards and a flight attendant all have to chip in.)**_

_**On the plane…**_

**Pilot: **hello there vacationers. We'll be going to Florida today … errr … food will be coming round on the trolley, and errr … Please turn off all mobile phones and all other electrically operated devices. Please enjoy the flight.

**Sawyer: **Ahh, it's the sky voice's husband!

**Charlie:** not this again **(In nice voice)** Sawyer… **(shouts)** SHUT THE HELL UP!

**Hurly: **LOL MAN LOL!

**Jack:** I'm so uncomfortable in this stupid seatbelt

**Charlie:** take it off then!

**Jack:** I… I can't.

**Charlie:** are you scared, is the big boy scared? Oh no, he's scared… awww…

**Jack: **Shhhhh OK I'm scared but Sawyer's on the seat opposite us - he'll torture me mentally. Speaking of torturing, where's Sayid?

**Charlie: **Sawyer was mad at him still for torturing him with bamboo shoots, so he put about 100 layers of palm frond on his tent so he can't get out… we left without him.

**Jack:** Oh…

_**On the way to the hotel…13:01 p.m.**_

**Sawyer: **can we go to the pool now?

**Ana:** if he asks that one more time I'm gonna smack him in places that shouldn't be smacked!

**Sawyer: **when are we going to the…?

_**(Ana smacks Sawyer in the balls)**_

**Sawyer: **ahhhhhhhhhhhh_** (recovers) **_you smacked my winky!

**Ana: **get over it, be a man!

**Sawyer:** Says you, you're a ghost!

**Ana:** So's Charlie, and Libby and Jack, and Locke, and Shannon, and Boone, and Alex. They're all dead - we're the cool ghosts.

**Sam Winchester: **So Dean we'll… **(Looks)** stop hitting on the hot chick ghost!

**Dean Winchester: **yeah ok errm right, why are we here?

**Sam Winchester: **we gotta bust all the ghosts you idiot. Remember I have that video of you screaming like the scared little girl you are that I just happened to record.

**Dean Winchester: **right yeah ok busting the ghosts… Why?

**Sam Winchester:**_** (teasingly)**_ video... Let's go

**Ana: **r-random, t-that small guy was HOT!

**Sawyer: **I'm not small…

**Ana: **I wasn't talking about you but now I think about it …Come here, hot stuff!

_**(Sawyer and Ana proceed to make out.)**_

**Charlie: **yuck, yuck, yucky!

**Sawyer:** aww bless the little munchkin - he doesn't know how he came into his British world.

**Charlie:** what are you talking about?

**Sawyer: (**_**takes Charlie in the corner and tells him how babies are made.)**_

**Sawyer: **it's the circle of life, boy.

**Charlie:** it's the grossest circle I've ever heard in my life. OH MY GOD! Ugh! Eww!

_**(At the hotel… finally! 14:07 p.m.)**_

**Desmond: **we're here, we're here, we're here! WHOOOO!

**Charlie: **can we just leave him, somewhere - anywhere?

**Charlie: **hey Desmond, do you wanna play in the elevators with me?

**Desmond:** oh I'll do anything with you, Charlie

**Charlie:** ok… let's GO!

**Jack: **Locke, Locke, Locke, Locke you wanna play on the luggage trolleys?

**Locke:** sure why not?

_**17:24 p.m.**_

_**(Selena appears through the hotel doors, exhausted.)**_

**Selena: **hello? Guys?

**Jack and Locke: **WWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

**Selena: **guys, guys what room are the girls in?

**Locke:** 4b

_**In the room 4B…**_

**Claire: **where have _you_ been?

**Selena: **you left me at the airport, I wasn't on the plane, didn't you notice?

**Claire**: LOL… I-I mean oh no…

_**At the pool the next day…**_

_**(Sawyer appears to be sleeping on a Lillo in the middle of the pool)**_

**Charlie: **_**(sniggers)**_GO! _**(All the boys fire water balloons at him)**_

**Sawyer:** AHHHHHHH! _**(falls off Lillo)**_

**Ben: **hehe giggle…

**Charlie:** dude did you sleep there?

**Sawyer:** maybe…

**Charlie:** c'mon we've gotta pack and go

**Sawyer: **where?

**Charlie: **to the town.

**Sawyer:** boring!

**Charlie:** to the mall.

**Sawyer:** lame

**Charlie:** to where the hot chicks hang out.

**Sawyer:** I say we go!

**Charlie: **come on, let's pack

**Sawyer:** why?

**Charlie: **we're going tonight.

**Sawyer:** why?

**Charlie:** 'cause…

**Sawyer:** why?

_**(Charlie smacks Sawyer on the head.)**_

**Sawyer: **owww! I'll go pack!

**Charlie: **yeah you run away…

_**In the town…**_

_**(Shannon has 4 bags in each hand and Jack is trailing behind with about 20 shoe boxes.)**_

**Shannon: **someone carry these bags!

**Boone:** what's the magic word?

**Shannon:** carry the bags… _**(Boone raises an eyebrow) **_please.

**Boone:** actually the word was Damon but I'll accept your please 'cause you're a pretty girl.

**Charlie:** I bought you this, Claire.

**Claire:** Awww a jar of smooth peanut butter that's not imaginary.

**Charlie:** yeah

**Kate:** Sawyer, where did you get that money?

**Sawyer:** errr

**Kate:** you conned someone?

**Sawyer:** hehe

**Selena:** I'm going to get some, what I call, "lunch".

**Sawyer: **it is lunch, it just is lunch!

**Hurley:** can I have a…

**Selena:** NO!

**Hurley: **…double cheese burger?

**Selena:** (_**mutters to self as she walks off)**_

**Sawyer: **that is such an annoying, what I call, phrase

**Charlie: (**_**to Claire) **_I got some pickles too

**Claire: **ok… why?

**Charlie: **c'mon try it.

**Claire:** _**(flicks pickle around as she's talking)**_

**Jack: **Claire! You're getting pickle-nut-butter all over my poster of me fixing everything!

**Claire:** Jack… that's just a Bob the Builder poster with a picture of your head taped over it!

**Jack:** _**(sniffles)**_ killjoy

**Claire:** excuse me?

**Jack: **n-nothing _**(under breath)**_ you scare me.

**Claire: **get ready to be terrified

**Jack:** arrgghhhhh not my perfect face!

**Kate:** perfect?

**Jack: (stands with a serious face) **hey!

**Kate: **what you gonna do?

**Jack:** I'll tell what ya I'm gonna…

**Selena:** BREAK IT UPPPP! We've got to go to the airport. To go home.

**Jack and Kate:** ooooooooooooh we don't want to! _**(they look at each other, slap each other and then snog each other)**_

_**At the airport again…**_

_**Everyone is hugging random people coming off other planes, saying they'll miss them, but Sawyer is making out with all the women instead.**_

**Hot woman:** call me!

**Sawyer:** we'll see…

**Announcer:** flight oceanic 815 replica is ready for boarding!

**Sawyer:**_** (gulps)**_Go! Go! Go! Go! Go! Don't disobey her, she'll get her husband!

**Charlie:** arrrgghhhh!

**Jack:**_** (coughs)**_ issues

**Ana:** how can you say that? I mean, speak for yourself! Ugh that's annoyed me now…

**On the plane…**

**Smokey:** has everyone got their unpoppable man-sized plastic balls for the crash?

**Everyone:** yes!

**Kate:** what about the other people on the plane?

**Charlie: **we're the only people on the plane!

**Kate:** what?

**Charlie:** we're gonna crash again but we don't want to get hurt, hence the plastic balls.

**Smokey:** get inside them, we'll be there any minute.

_**Three minutes later…**_

**Charlie: **AAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!

**Hurley:** ARGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!

**Everyone else:** WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

_**(The plane crashes with everybody lying down in their air bubbles) **_

**Desmond: (**_**sits up really fast) **_Who's alive?

**Ana: **not me!

**Hurley:** me neither, I can't find a pulse! I'm dead I - I _**(finds pulse) **_I'm good.

**Sawyer: **_**(sits up, notices a leg is sticking up) **_oh my god! (_**Twists it) **_

**Charlie: **_**(lying underneath Sawyer) **_owww!

**Sawyer:** oh, sorry. _**(Twists it back)**_

**Charlie: **owww!

**Desmond: **So when's the trip?

**A/n: Hey there this is Wickedgal08. This is my 10 year old sister's account and this is her story. I'm asking on her behalf for you not to judge her too harshly as she's not really watched the show, only the odd episode. I think this is really funny considering her age so I hope you like this! I know I'm proud of her for writing it. Selena is her OC, and Sam and Dean are from Supernatural... Their appearance here is random but funny.**


	2. Chapter 2

Lost abroad

_**Today the losties are going to… Tokyo. At this moment Selena is tied to a palm tree with an apple in her mouth, while the Lost people are dancing insanely breaking the canopies. **_

**Voice: **HEEEEEELLLLLPPP!

**Charlie:** _**(pulls bamboo and palm frond off the front of a tent) **_Who's there?

**Voice:** me

**Charlie:** me who?

**Voice: **Sayid

**Charlie: **no, you're supposed to say_ me_ Sayid

**Sayid:** shut up!

**Charlie:** it's _be quiet_ on the island. Why were you in there?

**Sayid: **Sawyer was still a bit upset that I hurt him with bamboo.

**Charlie: **accidently whacked him on the head?

**Sayid: **nope

**Charlie: **purposely whacked him on the head?

**Sayid: **double nope

**Charlie: **then, what?

**Sayid: **I shoved it up his nails when he was tied to a tree.

**Charlie: **ouch.

**Sayid: **yeah

**Random cleaner: **ok Locke we've finished cleaning the wreckage and we're getting a new plane made now.

**Locke:** thanks

**Random cleaner:** don't mention it

**Locke:** no really I…

**Random cleaner:** ever

**Selena:** chrli hlp

**Charlie:** what? Hang on _**(pulls apple out of Selena's mouth)**_

**Selena: **I said Charlie help! Untie me!

**Charlie: **maybe I don't want to.

**Selena: **_**(growls) **_

**Charlie:** Ok! Ok!

**Selena:** this is gonna get worse before it gets better.

**Boone:** whooo let's go!

**Selena:** oh I forgot, the following people aren't coming: rose, Bernard, Sun, Jin Boone, Shannon, Goodwin, Frogurt, Ana, Alex, Desmond, Hurley and anyone else we don't include .

**Everyone else:** …whooo!

**Rousseau: **was my name on that list?

**Selena: **no

**Rousseau:** s**t

_**At the airport…**_

**Sawyer: **we've been here an hour and a half!

**Announcer:** please report…

**Charlie: **sawyer, listen to this loud song!

**Sawyer: **sure.

**Announcer: …**departure lounges 2 and 3

**Charlie: **let me guess, lets go for three?

**Selena: **yep.

**Claire: **GRRRR

**Sawyer:** _**(shouts) **_HEY CHARLIE, THIS SONG IS GREAT!

**Charlie:** youcan take the earphones out now.

**Sawyer:** WHAT?

**Charlie: **take them off!

**Sawyer:** WHAAATT?

**Charlie:** _**(rips earphones out)**_

**Sawyer: **ow!

_**In departure lounge 3…**_

**Rousseau: **_**(pointing her gun at Selena) **_I'm bored, I want to go capture, then torture someone.

**Sayid: **tortured by a girl _**(sniff)**_

**Selena: **dudette, chill!

**Rousseau: **no!

**Selena: **_**(rolling up imaginary sleeves)**_you wanna fight? I'll give you a fight come on then, put 'em up, put 'em up. I'm wearing you down!

**Rousseau: (**_**holding Selena's head) **_yeah, I'm exhausted (_**lets her go)**_

**Charlie: **huh, LOL

**Kate:** I'm bored without Ana, I wanna compare how many times we've kissed Sawyer… then fight… then win….hopefully.

**Ana's voice in Kate's deranged mind:** I'd win...I think…I don't know, I've gotta shoot someone. _**(hears a gunshot, a scream then a "get your fat ass back here Hurley" and finally a "DUDE")**_

**Kate: **hm, well I'm thirsty.

**Claire:** me too

**Kate:** too bad, Claire!

**Selena: **well _**(clears throat, dusts self off) **_that's enough strength for one day 

**Rousseau: **ha ha ha, I think that's the first time I have laughed in ages.

**Sawyer: **I'MMMMMMMMM BORRRRRRRREEEEEDDDDDD!

**Charlie: **SHUT THE F*** UP SAWYER YOU B*******! _**(pants)**_

**Sawyer: **well some one's an angry munchkin aren't they?

**Charlie: **_**(stands face to… neck with Sawyer) **_

**Sawyer: **feeling small?

**Jack**: _**(in an alpha male accent).**_ I ain't said nothing so far so I'm goings to say one thing…!

**Carletta: **_**(walks by in departure lounge 2 and looks and sees the losties) (hair stands on ends) **_! _**(Pants) **_ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

**Losties: **hi Carletta, hello, what you doin' 'ere? etc.

**Claire:** go away!

**Carletta: **_**(faints)**_

**Losties: **oh dear… oh well.

**Announcer: **Tokyo is boarding now.

**Sawyer:** I can't be arsed to react to that so, ya know, lets go.

_**On the plane…**_

**Rousseau: **_**(tied up)**_I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, you I hate… You get the picture…

**Selena: **whoop whop, whop, whop, whop, whop.

**Rousseau: **whoop, whoop what?

**Selena:** dunno.

**Rousseau: **… and they call _me_ the insane one

**Charlie: **come on dude just pull my finger. I swear I'm not gonna do anything

**Claire:** No Charlie… not again please!

**Sawyer: **no _dude_**, **we've been through, this you'll fart again and it smells like sausage casserole_** (tears up)**_… and we gotta wait another hour for the plane to land with that smell.

**Charlie: **embrace the pong sawyer, EMBRACE THE PONG.

**Sawyer: **EWWWWWWWWWWWWW! No, no, no, no, no, nacho, no!

**Kate: **must… run… for… no…reason!

**Charlie: **run then. _**(to self) **_pfft… Tourists

**Kate: **_**(undoes her seatbelt and does god knows how many lengths of the plane)**_ I'm doing… a good job…bye again.

**Rousseau: **Sayid.

**Sayid: **ahhhhhh…_**(clears throat)**_ I-er I mean what?

**Rousseau: **I dunno, I just like it when I scare you

**Sayid:** yeah very funny

**Rousseau:** what

**Sayid:** nothing dear

**Rousseau:** dear? Are you OK?

**Sayid:** I may be having some sort of seizure.

**Rousseau: **oh… bye!

**Sayid: **b-b-bye_**(dies, then comes back to life)**_I'm alive!

**Charlie:** I can smell thatand it stinks

**Claire:** sawyer!

**Sawyer:** sorry… You did it!

**Charlie: **bitch

**Sawyer: **jerk

**Charlie: **shut up!

**Sawyer: **bitch

**Charlie: **jerk

_**Half an hour later…**_

**Charlie: **always look on the bright side of life!

**Everyone else: (**_**whistles the tune)**_

**Selena: **THIS IS NOT A PANTOMINE, WE ARE _NOT _CHILDREN!

**Sawyer: **oh my god I can't believe it, I never been this far away from…

**Selena: **SHUT UPPPPP!

**Sawyer:**_** (sniffs)**_ you wanna hurt me? Go right ahead if it makes you feel any better. I'm an easy target, yeah you're right I talk and sing and flirt too much, I also listen too much. I could be a cold hearted cynic like you, but I don't like to hurt people's feelings. So you think what you want about me, I'm not changing, I like me my friends like me. 'Cause I'm the real article, what you see is what you get.

**Selena: **_**(hangs head and tears up)**_

**Kate: **_**(runs by)**_ hehe movie… _**(comes back) **_references.

**Charlie: **Sawyer, I'm not sure even half of that was true and...

**Sawyer:** shhh its working.

**Claire:** pfft.

_**(25 Minutes later) **_

**Pilot: **we will shortly be landing so please sit down and fasten your seatbelts please.

**Kate: **ohhhwwww!

**Jack:** I'm rarely included so… you wanna hurt me...?

**Sawyer:** yeah I've already done one of those

**Jack:** damn it! Ok, ok I got one, I got one. Te amo, te amo, Kate says to me, I hear the _joy _in her voice Then we danced underneath the candelabra, she takes the lead. That's when I saw it in her eyes, it's _NOT_ over. Then she said "Te amo "Then she put her hand around my waist I told her go, she cried "Te amo "I told her I'm not gonna run away, but let me go My soul is awry, without asking why I said, "Te amo, wish somebody'd tell me what she said "Don't it mean…_**(Gestures to Kate)**_

**Kate: **No jack j-just no!

**Selena: **NOT A PANTOMINE!

**Claire:** LOL!

**Kate:** I'm restless _**(kicks chair in front of her)**_

**Sawyer: **yeah I quite literally feel your pain.

**Charlie:** My ears are popping!

**Sawyer:** I'm going through worse, I now know how the floor feels from the wrath of Kate's feet.

**Selena:** We're heeerrrreeee!

**Kate:** finally! _**(Unfastens seatbelt and runs to the door, kicks it open and runs out)**_

**Selena: **no Kate wait! Oh, there she goes.

**Kate:** _**(falls flat on face but stands up unharmed and then runs after plane, then when she reaches it, she runs in circles) **_!

**Sawyer:** I think she ruptured my appendix… and dislocated my spine slightly to the left.

**Charlie:** LMFAO oh sorry that's cool guy talk sawyer, it means laughing my fu***** ass off

**Sawyer:** I know what it means!

**Charlie:** well someone's an angry conman aren't they?

**Sawyer:** pfffft!

**Charlie:** pfffft!

_**At the hotel…**_

**Selena: **I wasn't left behind! Yay! OK erm girls in room 67 floor 8 and boys in…

**Jack: **we're _men_

**Selena: **_boys_ in room 18 floor 2

**Claire:** GRRRRR… again!

**Charlie:** Claire, guess what, I've got 2800 yens. Let's buy our own room together, PLEEEAASSEEE!

**Claire:** I would love to. BTW yens hehe lol

**Charlie:** what?

**Claire:** nothing.

**Charlie: **…OK

**Claire:** _**(smirks) **_

**Charlie: **what?

**Claire:** nothing!

_**In room 57 floor 7 (Charlie and Claire's room…)**_

**Claire: **I've always dreamed of going on holiday with that special someone.

**Charlie: **who's that then?

**Claire: **it's you Charlie

**Charlie:** oh, thanks and erm, me too

**Claire: **what shall I cook for dinner?

**Charlie:** there's a buffet, you don't have to cook. Are you OK?

**Claire: **_**(Claire tears up) **_best holiday ever.

_**Room 22… **_

**Sawyer: **It's mine!

**Jack: **no it ain't its mine ain't it!

**Sayid:** _I_ shall have to take the dollar in a minute you two.

**Sawyer: **I hate sharing a room with the pansy that defeated me with a plant.

**Sayid: **memories, sweet memories.

**Selena: **_**(knocks on the door) **_none of you are in your underwear are you?

**Sawyer: **do you want us to be?

**Selena: **NOT the answer!

**Sayid:** no we're fully dressed

_**(selena walks in but holds back)**_

**Selena: **alright, who let one loose?

**Sawyer:** not me…...Okay, it was me.

**Selena: **change and get into something baggy.

**Sawyer: **why?

**Selena: **we're going taiko drumming.

**Sawyer: **…..I'm sorry, why?

**Selena:** so we can embrace the Japanese culture. Tomorrow we're doing sushi making and eating, then karate, then we're going back to the island.

**Sayid: **sounds good!

_**Room 67 floor 8**_

**Selena: **_**(Selena walks in)**_get changed into baggy clothes, taiko drumming now blah, blah, blah.

**Kate: **hello to you too, Selena.

**Selena: **what?

**Kate: **I said hello Selena how are you?

**Selena: **don't get emotional; we're not Spanish!

**Kate: **_**(gets changed) **_let's go!

**Selena: **whoa that was fast, wait for Rousseau, me and Claire… where's Claire?

**Kate: **floor 7 room 57.

**Selena: **ugh!_**(gets changed and runs to the elevator, goes down a floor and tells Charlie and Claire to get changed and meet them by the hotel gates)**_

_**At the gates…**_

**Claire: **ready?

**Charlie: **let's go then

**Selena:** good you two, positive attitude, gold star_**(gestures to the rest) **_no star.

**Charlie:** ohhh the feet on the losties go step, step, step. step, step, step. step, step, step. ohhh the feet on the losties go step, step, step all day long.

**Selena:** too positive.

**Claire: **I liked it.

**Charlie:** I _love _you.

**Claire:** me too, but about you.

_**At the taiko drumming…**_

**Teacher: **Sawyer, too stiff.

**Charlie:** _**(smirks)**_

**Teacher: **midget man…

**Charlie: **_**(gestures to himself, she nods)**_

**Teacher: **perfect, everyone look how relaxed the midget is, letting the rhythm flow through him, which causes a shiver which brings a flick. Very good.

**Sawyer: **_**(smirks)**_

**Charlie:** shut your mouth!

**Teacher: **No talking!

**Claire: **I've got a headache…

**Charlie:** _**(low but understandable voice) **_it's the drums. Come on I'll take you outside for a moment or two, quickly though.

**Claire: **thanks Charlie.

**Charlie:**_** (does a desperate grunt.)**_

_**Later that night…**_

**Claire: **good night world.

**Charlie: **good night world.

**Sawyer: **good night world.

**Rousseau: **good night world.

**Sayid: **good night world.

**Kate: **good night world.

**Selena: **_**(snores)**_

_**Next morning 11 AM…**_

**Selena: **UP, UP, UP, UP, UP! GET UUPPPP!

_**(Everyone gets dressed and gets in the elevator, has breakfast and waits at the gates)**_

**Selena: **sushi time!

_**At the sushi place…**_

**Claire: **I don't like sushi.

**Charlie: **here, I've got some…

**Claire: **Pickle-nut-butter?

**Charlie:** in the cooler I hid behind the closet door

**Claire: **love you.

**Charlie:** me too, but about you.

**Chef: **knife, fish chopping board and… stylish headband in box by sink.

**Sawyer:** something smells fishy… _**(goes in the closet and discovers there are drugs, and skeletons and illegal items) **_huh guess it was the sushi after all.

**Chef: **chop slices… good, now prepare to eat like this… well done, now eat. Now do that all again without me…..well done. Session over… leave.

_**At Karate…**_

**Sawyer:** I'm tired.

**Selena:** too bad! Take part and I'll give you _almost _anything.

**Sawyer:** SUSHI!

**Selena:** OK, easy enough. After this I will get you sushi.

**Sawyer:** ha, ho, kick, punch, ha.

**Charlie:** kick, kick, punch, reset, kick, kick, punch!

**Kate:** ha ho heee-YA!

**Instructor:** excellent Kate, best I've ever seen! You will fight me now!

**Kate:** ha

**Instructor:** ho

**Kate:** HHEEEEEEEEEEEE

**Instructor**: YA!

_**(Kate wins)**_

**Instructor: **Excellent Kate - I see future for you in the arts.

**Kate: **thank you_**(bows)**_

_**On the plane…**_

**Sawyer: **OK so it's agreed?

**Charlie: **yep!

**Charlie and Sawyer: **NO farting, deal.

**Claire:** bubbles are blown up. Quick, get in them, remember when we land they _will_ pop and you will fall slowly but painlessly out. OK, let's GO, GO, GO!

**Sawyer: **AGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

**Rousseau: **ARGHHHHHHHHHHH!

**Everyone else: **WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

**Charlie: **ouch! Yeah, painlessly my bum.

**Desmond:** !

**Charlie:** erm Desmond?

**Desmond:** So… when's the _next _trip?

_**A/n: Hi, with wickedgal08s permission I have borrowed Carletta from the hilarious circle of trust, this chapter is a bit mashed up but I worked really hard on it, so don't judge too harshly please, I'm only ten but I can take some judgment, just cut down on the insults please. Thank U.**_


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